Saturday, April 24, 2010

Sleepless in Andover

Tonight is the third sleepless night in a row. Why? Why? Why? I keep asking myself why I can't seem to calm down and sleep. Tuesday night I feel asleep early and ended up sleeping for 12 hours and now since then I can't seem to get more than a couple hours. What is the deal? There is nothing unusual going on in my life. I am not thinking about new things that are going on in my life. I finally came to a conclusion I am just not sure what to do about it. DREAMS -- Over the last month, and more vividly this last week, I have been having very realistic dreams. Ones that seem to be realistic. I actually walked up to someone and made a reference to a conversation I had with them in my dream...they were clueless...and I got so confused.
How do you know if God is speaking to you through a dream? All the dreams are different but there is one part that is a constant. In every dream this one particular situation always comes up and the outcome is always incomplete. I wake up before I know exactly what happens. It is so frustrating. So, tonight I am sleepless in Andover due to the fact that I am trying to figure out if God is trying to talk to me through my dreams. I guess I need to pray for a greater tenderness to the Holy Spirit and discerning the spirits which are swaying me in my life.
So...off I go hoping to fall asleep soon!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Emulation

It never ceases to amaze me the impact that people can have on others, especially children. I spend a lot of time with children and on a regular basis I see them imitate actions and words of those they are around. Today I was with one of my friends who has a three year old boy. The family is very involved in the worship aspect of the church and the little boy is always at the rehearsals Sunday morning and sits in the service for the singing portion. Today he wanted to play "the band." He set up a drum set, key board, two guitars, a bass (all with amps) and a sound board. He assigned everyone a person in the band to be. I was Mandi, the sound board person. His mother was Justin, the keyboardist and David, the drummer. When Mandi asked who Caden was he said, "Bradley" It was hilarious to watch him. He held his guitar and stood just like Brad. He put his music on a stand and pushed it off just like Brad. He even held the pick in his mouth just like Brad. It's funny to me because it did not stop there. One thing that one needs to know is that this campus needs to be set-up and torn down every week, and all the musicians help to do this. Every week Justin asks someone to help him move the keyboard. Well, Caden was moving his keyboard and was saying..."I am Bradley. I have muscles. I can move the keyboard by myself." and then he proceeded to carry it over his head. It was so cute. Everything he did was exactly like Brad does it. Caden is not the only child that I have seen this in.
Watching him today made me think about myself and how do I emulate people that I look up to. Most importantly how do I emulate Jesus Christ. Do I look at Christ and imitate his life and his actions the same way with the same amount of admiration and detail that these children look up to those they admire? Unfortunately I don't and that is something that I regret to say, but it is something to work on. It is something to strive for. To be more Christ-like.
Also, I don't know who is watching me. I am reminded of the verse that says, "Even a child is known my his actions by whether his conduct is pure and right." This goes beyond simply living my life, but being a good example of who Christ is and how He impacts my life. I have no idea who is watching me, but I do know that actions speak louder than words. Living in the world my life should look different. It should look like Christ!
Who would have thought that God would have taught me such a powerful and simple, but hard lesson through the play of a child.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Good Friday

The lyrics to this song have greatly impacted me through this Holy Week.

Remembering the true meaning of the holiday and how it impacts my everyday life. The bottom line is to run to the cross.


Lead Me to the Cross

Savior I come

Quiet my soul remember

Redemptions hill

Where Your blood was spilled

For my ransom

Everything I once held dear

I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross

Where Your love poured out

Bring me to my knees

Lord I lay me down

Rid me of myself

I belong to You

Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I

Tempted and tried

Human

The word became flesh

Bore my sin and death

Now you're risen

Everything I once held dear

I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross

Where Your love poured out

Bring me to my knees

Lord I lay me down

Rid me of myself

I belong to You

Lead me, lead me to the cross

To your heart

To your heart

Lead me to your heart

-- Hillsong


Over the last couple of weeks I have been processing through some things going on in my life and decisions that I need

to make. I have been faced with choices to make and I am seeking what to do and trying to make the right choices, but

realized through this song...that I have been seeking the answers from myself and people around me instead of seeking

for the answers and the foot of the cross. When Christ is at the center things are clear and simple. When the focus is put

on self things become confusing and muddy. I am so thankful for the cross and that God gave Jesus life for me. Once

again, because of that, I can come to the cross and ask for forgiveness for trying to do things my way instead of seeking

Christ first. I pray that as you experience this Easter that you realize again the great gift that we have in the life and death

of Christ.