Cloudy Beach

Shirts, shoes, pants, trinkets, toys, new gadgets, going out to eat, grocery shopping, books, movies, cd's etc...what do all of these things have in common? They are all things that one gets when they go shopping! For some reason getting new things, as little and cheap as they may be, bring about some type of joy! The last couple of days I have been feeling really down and discouraged, some of it was because of circumstances in my life (credit card number being stolen, license being suspended, processing life situations etc...) and the rest of the discouragement is just a down feeling. I was with people all day yesterday but for some reason I just never voiced my frustration or my discouragement, and what good would it do any way? Does having a pity party help anyone? No. So, what did I do? I went out and showered myself with gifts. Hahaha. Not the most economically wise choice and not the way to actually heal from the pain, but for some reason always makes me feel good. What is that? Why do the things of the world have such a hold on my life? Andy besides it doesn't even last that long. So, I came home and was great but the woke up this morning and it didn't change anything. I still felt discouraged, but now I was discouraged and had spent money on new stuff.

Today was such a beautiful day...No reason to feel discouraged, but yet that cloud was still there. I was with some great friends this morning and processed through a lot of stuff and was showered with love and compassion, but the heaviness didn't depart. Took a short nap and then went to the beach. That was the best choice! OH MY GOODNESS! It had been a while since I met with God in His creation! I drove out to Plum Island and just sat on the beach for a while taking in the waves and the beauty of the blue sky. I walked up and down the beach with the sand (cold sand) between my toes and just let everything go. If I had just done that yesterday I would have saved some money.

Why is it that I often run to God as a last resort? Sitting on that beach I was reminded of His power. Looking at the waves and thinking about water I was reminded of God's character. He is compassionate, gentle, and refreshing like a gentle rain or a small wave. But He is powerful like a storm and large waves. He needs to be the one I run to when that cloud is over me! He will make the grey cloudy skies clear beautiful and sunny. Just like the sky was today. I don't need stuff to make me happy I need a surrendered life!